Sugar addict, Carb loading Fitness freak is going to learn the word CONTROL.

I am addicted to weight loss programs.

I am addicted to the thrill of trying new diets.

I love the process of starting them on 'Mondays' with all the beauty and purity of a slate wiped clean (its forever perfect on Mondays).

I adore the highs and lows of the whole process. I love the idea of being as thin as possible whilst I eat a whole box of cookies in one sitting. This is my world, what I think about, what I daydream about...workouts, food programs, logging my calories what I'm going to eat for the next week etc etc etc..

I've got food issues. Seriously, I do. But, by starting this blog I am hoping that someway, somehow I can feel obligated to stick to my eating programs and workouts. Because consistency is the absolute key to making my fitness goals. It is absolute.

For me to lose these last 30 lbs and then some..I gotta be like superglue on this shit.

Sooooo.....By having an online 'motherhen' of a sorts will help me be more accountable and honourable to myself. We will see...usually it only takes me 2 weeks to move on to something 'new.'

But, nevertheless, enjoy the ride--cause, its gonna be pretty wacky.

:D

oxox

The Sugar Cookie Princess


P.s. Why Sugar Cookie Princess? I love sugar, I love cookies and I am always a princess ;)







Even she knew that weights are what make the woman

Even she knew that weights are what make the woman
One of my fav's of her

About Me

My photo
I don't do things well on my own. I don't like to be alone in the deepest, darkest part of the night. I hunger for the belief that everything will turn out perfectly, without having to do a mass suicide with all of the'voices' in my head. I hate thinking about anything that is reality based, who wants to? Who cares? Its all just a fantasy anyways.

Monday, 22 November 2010

Fucking Food.



Fools rush in, and fatties eat everything in sight!



You don't even want to know what I ate today; it was enough for a small army. I drank (2) drinks and then the rest went downhill with the bite of one deviled egg.

After the smorgsboard of deliciousness, I went and had some more. Needless to say I am stuffed to the gills, can't really breathe and tummy hurts so bad I can't move.

I binged--big time!
Do I feel bad about it?...hmmmm..Kinda...sorta...yeah, but, not that much. Will I do it again? Yup. Probably on Thanksgiving. But, based on how my body feels right now..I may not. Plus, I still want to lose another 10 lbs. My problem is this:



What do I do after I'm done with the ***?..I can't binge like this..but, my body is so hungry, so starving at that point, at this point that one bite of even protein laden food didn't stop me from eating to beyond capacity. I thought this program was supposed to teach me to be balanced in my mind set towards food and how I relate to it. And I see from this binge I have garnered nothing except that I am HUNGRY..I don't feel hungry all the time..but, I know that my body is hungry. I burn 2,898 calories in one day of work and I am supposed to eat 500 calories while my body burns 2500 from fat stores..well, I just scorched through that in one day of work..where does my body get the rest of the 2,898 calories for me to work?...not food..cause, its not there. This concerns me to a small degree inside me. I don't want my body to be searching for food, and eat muscle instead. What is the best way to handle this?


I'm intending to take the next few days of this diet and really buckle down on my eating and why I do it, and how i do it. I don't know if *** is the cure all to serious food issues, maybe just a band-aid to help with the symptom of food issues.


But, the work, the mindset and the understanding of relationships with food have to come from me. I don't want to blow up after *** like so many have because they didn't take the time to control themselves.

I let myself get too hungry today problem #1, I drank #2, and I was starving (I'm not eating the full 500; around 300-400)#3

Sooo..in week 2 in *** and its a learning process of patience, endurance, and failures..this wasn't the best or easiest program for me..but, if nothing else its a process of self-awareness that is a much troubled and difficult road for me.

Love = food/food=love? hmmm...I hope not. .
 

No comments:

Post a Comment