Sugar addict, Carb loading Fitness freak is going to learn the word CONTROL.

I am addicted to weight loss programs.

I am addicted to the thrill of trying new diets.

I love the process of starting them on 'Mondays' with all the beauty and purity of a slate wiped clean (its forever perfect on Mondays).

I adore the highs and lows of the whole process. I love the idea of being as thin as possible whilst I eat a whole box of cookies in one sitting. This is my world, what I think about, what I daydream about...workouts, food programs, logging my calories what I'm going to eat for the next week etc etc etc..

I've got food issues. Seriously, I do. But, by starting this blog I am hoping that someway, somehow I can feel obligated to stick to my eating programs and workouts. Because consistency is the absolute key to making my fitness goals. It is absolute.

For me to lose these last 30 lbs and then some..I gotta be like superglue on this shit.

Sooooo.....By having an online 'motherhen' of a sorts will help me be more accountable and honourable to myself. We will see...usually it only takes me 2 weeks to move on to something 'new.'

But, nevertheless, enjoy the ride--cause, its gonna be pretty wacky.



The Sugar Cookie Princess

P.s. Why Sugar Cookie Princess? I love sugar, I love cookies and I am always a princess ;)

Even she knew that weights are what make the woman

Even she knew that weights are what make the woman
One of my fav's of her

About Me

My photo
I don't do things well on my own. I don't like to be alone in the deepest, darkest part of the night. I hunger for the belief that everything will turn out perfectly, without having to do a mass suicide with all of the'voices' in my head. I hate thinking about anything that is reality based, who wants to? Who cares? Its all just a fantasy anyways.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010


Don't be jealous.

Cause, I did it.

anddddd, I'll do it again.
In January of 2011, and you will be TOTALLY jealous of the new, slim downed version of myself.

Here is my latest picture ( jealous--seriously, its okay.)

(in this pic I am at 160 lbs..I'm 2 lbs lighter now-ha!)

Hot huh?
Its okay to drool.

How did I do it(and stick to it)?  Hcg the shit is miracle stuff..seriously its gotten me to my goal weight faster, easier (per se), and helped me maintain it for the last month.  I plan on continuing to use this form of weight loss supplement it doesn't react to my meds, make my thyroid go bananas and it WORKS.
Works better than diet and exercise alone..

I've spent countless hours in the gym week after week, charted my food, wrote notes, scribbled on post-its and fucking did all the shit--and the only thing it ever got me was more obsessed with my weight, food and my body image..

HcG freed me from all of that and it is simple, straight forward and you know what?  My addiction to food?...Every day its getting less and less..something that I know would not have happened the more traditional methods.

(seriously, Thank GOD..for Hcg)

Sooo...from this point on, I will be posting updates about my journey with hcg and pics of course.

Talk to you all soon! oxo

Monday, 22 November 2010

Fucking Food.

Fools rush in, and fatties eat everything in sight!

You don't even want to know what I ate today; it was enough for a small army. I drank (2) drinks and then the rest went downhill with the bite of one deviled egg.

After the smorgsboard of deliciousness, I went and had some more. Needless to say I am stuffed to the gills, can't really breathe and tummy hurts so bad I can't move.

I binged--big time!
Do I feel bad about it?...hmmmm..Kinda...sorta...yeah, but, not that much. Will I do it again? Yup. Probably on Thanksgiving. But, based on how my body feels right now..I may not. Plus, I still want to lose another 10 lbs. My problem is this:

What do I do after I'm done with the ***?..I can't binge like this..but, my body is so hungry, so starving at that point, at this point that one bite of even protein laden food didn't stop me from eating to beyond capacity. I thought this program was supposed to teach me to be balanced in my mind set towards food and how I relate to it. And I see from this binge I have garnered nothing except that I am HUNGRY..I don't feel hungry all the time..but, I know that my body is hungry. I burn 2,898 calories in one day of work and I am supposed to eat 500 calories while my body burns 2500 from fat stores..well, I just scorched through that in one day of work..where does my body get the rest of the 2,898 calories for me to work?...not food..cause, its not there. This concerns me to a small degree inside me. I don't want my body to be searching for food, and eat muscle instead. What is the best way to handle this?

I'm intending to take the next few days of this diet and really buckle down on my eating and why I do it, and how i do it. I don't know if *** is the cure all to serious food issues, maybe just a band-aid to help with the symptom of food issues.

But, the work, the mindset and the understanding of relationships with food have to come from me. I don't want to blow up after *** like so many have because they didn't take the time to control themselves.

I let myself get too hungry today problem #1, I drank #2, and I was starving (I'm not eating the full 500; around 300-400)#3 week 2 in *** and its a learning process of patience, endurance, and failures..this wasn't the best or easiest program for me..but, if nothing else its a process of self-awareness that is a much troubled and difficult road for me.

Love = food/food=love? hmmm...I hope not. .

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Its never as easy as it looks....

I'm doing something new!! :D
But, you guys aren't surprised by this at all, are you?  I thought not! :D

Here is my latest pic....

A few things have changed since this photo..I've lost about 10 lbs and I got my hair did..but, that photo is not what I wanted to tell you all about.  Its this:

I'm on a VERY LOW CALORIE diet at the moment, and its gonna last until after Thanksgiving..which I am soo worried about--cause Thanksgiving is my favourite time of the year, so I intend on cheating on my diet..sorry hard core people but, turkey-mashed taters and cranberry sauce gonna be had!  Anyways.....this is about yesterday--

Because i am so low cal right now, my brain has been telling me to do all sorts of all of my old favourites.  It was right HARD.  Plus, I worked out yesterday and was soo tired from the exertion it took that I could hardly work that night..and I went to bed mega early for me!
(like 12a.m. instead of 2 a.m.)  Today, it seems that it was worth it in my favour, cause I dropped 2 lbs. 

When I woke up this morning I yelled at the scale cause I thought it was going up not down..(I was still pretty sleepy) then i realized oh, right..its down 2lbs!! haah! I go...I almost caved yesterday but today I am not feeling all that hungry which is awesome didn't eat my fruit (saving that for later)..but, all in all I've lost some weight..only thing?? Can I make it for the next 2 weeks?

My mind, my mind keeps talking to me about: cookies, popcorn, rice....frosting..mmmm..frosting...mmmm...
until next time kidlets! :D

Monday, 25 October 2010

Paleo You say???....

Look! Look at this absolutely ugly photo above my writing!!!!  But, this crap is the real thing, the absolute thing.  You want to know about healthy eating?...There it is in all of its utterly dry and bland glory.

    I'm gonna tell you something.  Okay, its been several months since I have written anything on my blogs..but, I've been busy doing nothing and being ridiculous guess what?...The same could be said of my eating habits.  Soooo..I've come back to this place, this place where I eat veggies, meats all in timely orders..I don't only eat when I'm hungry I've put myself on a schedule of a sorts..actually..I've gone back to a certain diet that I did where I ate 3 times a day and called it good. 

I'm doing it again..but, with a dairy, no wheat and no something else that I am sure is equally good for me, but not necessarily paleo.  That is the beauty of paleo, you can plug it into any diet program and it will wonders.  Although, I will add these dairy's to my diet: Goat cheese, some mozzarella and cream if I feel like it.  Only organic and only delicious.  (Honestly, I've hating cheese for a week now, and I am trying to do the same for sugar..)

So, if your curious and want to do what I am doing here it is:

Breakfast: 2 eggs any style, .25 cup of oats or 1/4-1/2 cup sweet potato, 1 tsp fat

wait 4 hours (this is actually quite easy to do)

Lunch: 4 oz any  lean meat, endless green veggies (I do about 2-3 cups), 1/2cup winter squash or sweet potato, 1 tsp fat, and some goat cheese or mozzarella

wait 5 hours (this is a bit harder to do)

Dinner: 4 oz any lean meat..okay you got me its the same as lunch

*Please note because I do workout and workout hard I might add some extra food in there maybe a protein shake with almond milk, flax seeds and some kind of crazy powder that I'm using at the moment (any greens, ma ca) no fruit and that is that.

Goal?  Drop about 20-25 lbs...this time it has stick and I have to stick to it...if not SOMEBODY IS GONNA GET HURT!!!

Anyways, fitness photos to follow at some point when I feel like it!!

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Fruitie Flavourful fruit fast and the furbies!! :p

This is an attempt to collect a debt....

No, its not. 
It just me, telling myself that its time to give myself a bit of a you know..wake up call???

I know I haven't been on here very much, the lack of people following my blog has kind of um well..put me off of it.  That is NO excuse though to stop, is it?...Well, recently my mom read "Sugar.." and she loved it so that inspired me to come and write alittle something just for the hell of it.
So, here is to the hell of it:

In the past week I have decided to go on a fruit fast for a total of 3 weeks.  Sounds insane I know but really, I think its a great idea.
How has the first week gone you ask?? Alittle something like this:

Fruit smoothie with greek yogurt, pineapple juice and flax with 2 scoops of protein powder
Watermelon through the rest of the day
Dinner of veggies, homemade salad dressing, nuts, or avocado with 6 oz of protein
2 bags of microwave popcorn
Trail mix (as much as I can stuff in my face)
Chocolate when-ever I feel like it
Coffee's with cream and sugar or sugar free vanilla syrup.


Some fruit fast huh?
its supposed to look like this:

Fruit all day
dinner: Large salad with tomato, cucumber, bell peppers, homemade salad dressing, nuts or avocado and 4-8 oz of protein

Followed by a
yogurt, water, berry, flax, protein powder smoothie.

One FREE dinner on saturday nights (tonight)

Did I do that?
Um. NO.


Seriously??..WHAT am I going to do with myself?
so today I decided well actually yesterday I decided that I was going to do it properly for the next 2 weeks like I'm supposed.  I viewed last week as a "warm-up" for the following weeks.
I know I can do this.  Already I do feel better, lighter and more in control (of what..I'm still trying to figure that one out.).

I know doing this will jump start some stuff in my body to feel more balanced and aligned.
Plus, its soo flipping hot out who wants to eat a bunch of heavy food for the rest of the summer??
I don't.

The only thing surprisingly is that its expensive..fruit, fresh veg and meats are all on the rise.  I don't understand this..Do they want us to eat only crap food because THEY made it for us??
Well "they" can just go fuck off.  I may complain about the cost but, its not changing anything, I am not going to sacrifice my health so that some RICH, FAT guy can continue to get FATTER AND RICHER--FUCK HIM!!

Anyway, kidlets..I'll keep you posted on the fruit fast!!
The princess...

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

ACHEW! ((bless you))

I haven't been around lately.  So what?!  I've been busy...

But, not too busy to eat a ton of food between friday and sunday, then I caught the flu bug.  Yah what, flu bug you may ask??  Dunno, but I caught it.

So, yesterday was kindof an okay eating day but, today a donut somehow got to play center stage. mom brought me a donut back when she got back to her house from school.  Bless her heart--nothing says love like a donut.


Overall, I am just waiting to get done being sick so that I can start my workout program again.  But, while I wait I am focusing on my Macro nutrients and getting them together:
100 grams fats
<80 grams carbs
120+grams protein

Believe it or not, protein is the hardest one to build up.  I continue day in and day out to have issues with this.  I think that I am eating enough, then find out that yeah I ate 6 oz of meat but a quarter of it was fat or something stupid.  So, I am working on how to build that bad dog up without too much thought or hassle. 

OH! Another thing...I baked my very first round of Paleo friendly Golden flax bread AND my own strawberry jam..might I add it was FANFUCKINGTASIC!!!

I am soo very, very pleased with myself!! Yay for delicious things that taste like bread but aren't.  I am going to start a new love affair with flax and almond flour just to see how we get along.

Until next some cookies for me

Monday, 31 May 2010

White bread anyone??

Today got screwed up BAD.
I ate 4 slices of white bread (freshly baked, mind you).  With  butter and two of the slices had honey slathered on them.

I drank a whole bottle of sparkling perry to myself...and the day isn't even done yet..

I'm a carb addict AND a drunk..
What the hell?
Just because, I'm outside of the united states I still am trying to celebrate Memorial day??? ahahahah..what the??
I just wanted to give everyone an update on my day oohh also, I walked to the store which is about 25 minutes away but then we rode in a taxi back (we were bringing home bottles of evian).  So, that about ends it for my my "workout" of the day..on top of it all I"ve watched
Narnia part two
Indiana jones and the raiders of the lost ark
Matrix part 1
I know I should have capitalized the second movie..but, i'm in a carb crisis right now (and drunk).  Who can be bothered , I can barely be bothered to type at the moment. If the words start looking really knwo what has happened.  The extra sweet carbs have gone into my bloodstream and caused a "carb coma"
I can't be held responsible for what I write at the moment!
Anyways, I think my period is going to start soon.....(isn't the oldest excuse in the book??)

P.s. to top the day off I ate 3 slices of cheesy onion bread from the pizza joint...just a little fyi for ya! ;)

Sunday, 30 May 2010

My first post!!

My first post on my 'eating' blog!! hahahah

I'm just going to cut to the chase..look at what I ate yesterday:

Sparkling Perry
several coffees with whole milk

Ha! Beat that!!!!!!

I've been better today overall i.e. all I've eaten is

one bagged salad with 2 hard boiled eggs w/ mayo
(mayo is from god and this earth and I am NOT giving it up without a fight)
That is it oh! and one coffee with sugar (raw) and cream

Needless to say I am feeling a wee bit hungry.
As soon as I get back to the states I will get back on the ole horse again but until then.....I'm eating good food!