Sugar addict, Carb loading Fitness freak is going to learn the word CONTROL.

I am addicted to weight loss programs.

I am addicted to the thrill of trying new diets.

I love the process of starting them on 'Mondays' with all the beauty and purity of a slate wiped clean (its forever perfect on Mondays).

I adore the highs and lows of the whole process. I love the idea of being as thin as possible whilst I eat a whole box of cookies in one sitting. This is my world, what I think about, what I daydream about...workouts, food programs, logging my calories what I'm going to eat for the next week etc etc etc..

I've got food issues. Seriously, I do. But, by starting this blog I am hoping that someway, somehow I can feel obligated to stick to my eating programs and workouts. Because consistency is the absolute key to making my fitness goals. It is absolute.

For me to lose these last 30 lbs and then some..I gotta be like superglue on this shit.

Sooooo.....By having an online 'motherhen' of a sorts will help me be more accountable and honourable to myself. We will see...usually it only takes me 2 weeks to move on to something 'new.'

But, nevertheless, enjoy the ride--cause, its gonna be pretty wacky.



The Sugar Cookie Princess

P.s. Why Sugar Cookie Princess? I love sugar, I love cookies and I am always a princess ;)

Even she knew that weights are what make the woman

Even she knew that weights are what make the woman
One of my fav's of her

About Me

My photo
I don't do things well on my own. I don't like to be alone in the deepest, darkest part of the night. I hunger for the belief that everything will turn out perfectly, without having to do a mass suicide with all of the'voices' in my head. I hate thinking about anything that is reality based, who wants to? Who cares? Its all just a fantasy anyways.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Day 6 of Juice fast and day 11 of Repairvite cleanse

That looks good doesn't? is actually this  is pretty much  what I drank earlier today:

3-4 large stalks of kale
.5 zucchini
1 chinese pear
1 apple
3 celery stalk
healthy nub of ginger

Makes about 24 oz of juice

I am cleaning out my fridge right now, I got apple happy and bought a  bunch on discount at Harris Teeter the last week.  So, gotta juice those guys up , before going balls to the wall with a lowered fruit content of my juices.

Its been almost a week juicing and I feel fine..actually more than fine. I feel better, just thinking about some things last night in relation to my juicing and cleansing.  That  before I started all this I felt "OKAY" now I feel  "BETTER" the goal is to feel "AWESOME" 80-90% of the time all the time.

So, that is the focus and the goal..I know it is going to take some time maybe a year of solid  on and off cleanses , eating properly and juicing to get to that point.  I am just going to keep trying.  Plus, getting down to  a lower weight is the goal as well.

Lost maybe about 11-12 lbs in the last week or so..still got about 20 lbs before I get to my  half way point of  perfect weight. Total i want to lose about 40lbs total, look good naked (not flabby or wrinkly) and  be balanced in my food choices and  thyroid.

So, how is the repairvite going?...hmmm...well, nothing especially wonderful is happening, just have a steady flow of energy and no dips or  highs which I am taking as a good sign.

Although, BM have been non existent..probably from the juicing.
OH! I have added veggie protein powder to my juice, beef  amino acid tablets and fermented foods with each juice..just something that needs to be done for my body to function (I believe).

Well..that is all folks!

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Repairvite Day 6

Scarey isn't?  That giant tub of blueness just staring out at IS scarey!!! :(

Its this new thing I am doing to save my rotting gut--literally!  I heard about it from a nutjob, selfish doctor that is more consumed with his $$ than helping people--its cool,  whateve...Another posting for another rant!!

So, what I am doing exactly? Scarey stuff.. :'(  It goes like this:

You drink the above drink 2-3 times a day, along with that you take this

And this:

Then you follow a very strict diet for about 3 weeks or longer if you feel you need to do it..well, based on what your doctor tells you.  Bascially, in the diet you eat meat, veggies, fruit, seeds and root veggies, squashes and fermented foods of all sorts.  

Dairy? NO
Sugar? NO
Pizza? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! hahahaah
But,  so far so good..I mean I meant to write a blog about this 5 days ago but, didn't have the energy or the time to do so because:

A. the first 3 days was total hell
B. Busy with work and school
C. The next 3 days has only started to feel okay
Dropped tonnes of water weight so far, and starting to look better overall (I think)
Still got about 2 more weeks left, including Thanksgiving which is good cause, I can do the program afterwards to clean out my gut after all that deliciousness!
So, I have decided to blog each day just a bit about how the Repairvite is doing and what else I am up to: I have been Juice fasting as well for the last 3 days which I think has helped quite alot! :)

Anyway tootles!

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Its because I don't respect myself enough

At least that is what I am getting from the current booky I am reading.  Yeah, I said "booky." LOL  You know since I have been back from England its been a damned struggle to get back into the swing of things.  I don't want to eat healthy foods--I want to eat crap--I don't want to stick to protocol--I want to cheat every chance I get.  Ultimately, its a bit sad, but hey! I am working on it day by day.  Its just been a rough couple of months and my mind wants to console itself with delicious kettleKorn and cookies..Can you blame it?  After the whirlwind that has been happening the last few months?  The inconsistency of my life has caused a major shift in what I think is a good dinner; Popcorn, 75% dark chocolate and a burger and fry from Five guys does not constitute a "good" matter which way you look at it.  *sigh*

Tomorrow..tomorrow..tomorrow its always tomorrow but this time we are going to say "tonight"..tonight we start anew.  The big thing is that there is no weighing in until Monday so I need to have my shit together tomorrow and the rest of the weekend..which I think I got covered..I bought food--fridge is stocked with the good stuff now its just up to me to promise to myself that I will continue on and keep going without let up...

I just have to choose to right?..right.

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Here we go again! :D

I have a little secret to tell.  I have offically blown my diet for the last week.  Big time.  Since, I have been back in the states its ALMOST mindless eating sessions everyday.  DISGUSTING. BLECH.PUKE.GROSS!

At 35 I don't have that much "wiggle" room between looking decent and looking like a stuck pig.
So, I HAVE to get back to my program, get back to my progress...honestly, I am just doing this to look better than most 25 year olds.   I would say 18 but that would be pushing it--ALOT.
LOL. more blubber days, no more cookies, popcorn, soda, and mindless munching on cheese wedges because I am emotionally hurting at the moment.

Tomorrow (always tomorrow, isn't?) I get back on the horse and ride it till I look like a toothpick.
Wish me luck everybody..cause, its gonna be a BUMPY RIDE!!

Tuesday, 28 December 2010


Don't be jealous.

Cause, I did it.

anddddd, I'll do it again.
In January of 2011, and you will be TOTALLY jealous of the new, slim downed version of myself.

Here is my latest picture ( jealous--seriously, its okay.)

(in this pic I am at 160 lbs..I'm 2 lbs lighter now-ha!)

Hot huh?
Its okay to drool.

How did I do it(and stick to it)?  Hcg the shit is miracle stuff..seriously its gotten me to my goal weight faster, easier (per se), and helped me maintain it for the last month.  I plan on continuing to use this form of weight loss supplement it doesn't react to my meds, make my thyroid go bananas and it WORKS.
Works better than diet and exercise alone..

I've spent countless hours in the gym week after week, charted my food, wrote notes, scribbled on post-its and fucking did all the shit--and the only thing it ever got me was more obsessed with my weight, food and my body image..

HcG freed me from all of that and it is simple, straight forward and you know what?  My addiction to food?...Every day its getting less and less..something that I know would not have happened the more traditional methods.

(seriously, Thank GOD..for Hcg)

Sooo...from this point on, I will be posting updates about my journey with hcg and pics of course.

Talk to you all soon! oxo

Monday, 22 November 2010

Fucking Food.

Fools rush in, and fatties eat everything in sight!

You don't even want to know what I ate today; it was enough for a small army. I drank (2) drinks and then the rest went downhill with the bite of one deviled egg.

After the smorgsboard of deliciousness, I went and had some more. Needless to say I am stuffed to the gills, can't really breathe and tummy hurts so bad I can't move.

I binged--big time!
Do I feel bad about it?...hmmmm..Kinda...sorta...yeah, but, not that much. Will I do it again? Yup. Probably on Thanksgiving. But, based on how my body feels right now..I may not. Plus, I still want to lose another 10 lbs. My problem is this:

What do I do after I'm done with the ***?..I can't binge like this..but, my body is so hungry, so starving at that point, at this point that one bite of even protein laden food didn't stop me from eating to beyond capacity. I thought this program was supposed to teach me to be balanced in my mind set towards food and how I relate to it. And I see from this binge I have garnered nothing except that I am HUNGRY..I don't feel hungry all the time..but, I know that my body is hungry. I burn 2,898 calories in one day of work and I am supposed to eat 500 calories while my body burns 2500 from fat stores..well, I just scorched through that in one day of work..where does my body get the rest of the 2,898 calories for me to work?...not food..cause, its not there. This concerns me to a small degree inside me. I don't want my body to be searching for food, and eat muscle instead. What is the best way to handle this?

I'm intending to take the next few days of this diet and really buckle down on my eating and why I do it, and how i do it. I don't know if *** is the cure all to serious food issues, maybe just a band-aid to help with the symptom of food issues.

But, the work, the mindset and the understanding of relationships with food have to come from me. I don't want to blow up after *** like so many have because they didn't take the time to control themselves.

I let myself get too hungry today problem #1, I drank #2, and I was starving (I'm not eating the full 500; around 300-400)#3 week 2 in *** and its a learning process of patience, endurance, and failures..this wasn't the best or easiest program for me..but, if nothing else its a process of self-awareness that is a much troubled and difficult road for me.

Love = food/food=love? hmmm...I hope not. .

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Its never as easy as it looks....

I'm doing something new!! :D
But, you guys aren't surprised by this at all, are you?  I thought not! :D

Here is my latest pic....

A few things have changed since this photo..I've lost about 10 lbs and I got my hair did..but, that photo is not what I wanted to tell you all about.  Its this:

I'm on a VERY LOW CALORIE diet at the moment, and its gonna last until after Thanksgiving..which I am soo worried about--cause Thanksgiving is my favourite time of the year, so I intend on cheating on my diet..sorry hard core people but, turkey-mashed taters and cranberry sauce gonna be had!  Anyways.....this is about yesterday--

Because i am so low cal right now, my brain has been telling me to do all sorts of all of my old favourites.  It was right HARD.  Plus, I worked out yesterday and was soo tired from the exertion it took that I could hardly work that night..and I went to bed mega early for me!
(like 12a.m. instead of 2 a.m.)  Today, it seems that it was worth it in my favour, cause I dropped 2 lbs. 

When I woke up this morning I yelled at the scale cause I thought it was going up not down..(I was still pretty sleepy) then i realized oh, right..its down 2lbs!! haah! I go...I almost caved yesterday but today I am not feeling all that hungry which is awesome didn't eat my fruit (saving that for later)..but, all in all I've lost some weight..only thing?? Can I make it for the next 2 weeks?

My mind, my mind keeps talking to me about: cookies, popcorn, rice....frosting..mmmm..frosting...mmmm...
until next time kidlets! :D